Saturday, August 10, 2013

March 28th, 2013, 7:58am

My pregnancy with Hayden was br-u-tal.  Pretty much from start to finish.  LOTS of puking, kidney stones, swelling the size of house...etc..etc...  Since the whole pregnancy was dramatic I guess he needed to have a dramatic entrance too.  :)  I wrote about it here.  It is so crazy to go back and read what I was thinking and feeling then. With Hayd's emergency C-section I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to get my sweet baby boy out!  Being rushed to a surgical room to have a C-section while a nurse is riding on your bed is a surreal feeling. That whole morning was a blur but I had my handsome 8lb 13 oz baby boy and we were both happy and healthy.

Fast forward to this year.  My due date was April 3rd, this pregnancy was easier than my pregnancy with Hayden, and I have a new doctor.  She is more than willing to let me try a VBAC because I never had the chance to push and try with Hayden.   Every weekly checkup I would pray to be just a little bit dilated, and a little bit effaced.  Sadly every time I left I was barely a half a centimeter.  I walked around our neighborhood, bounced on a birthing ball, walked around Target for hours(this is fun and distracting but expensive :) ), more exercises on a birthing ball, spicy food, more walking, walking, walking and still…nothing.  At 39 weeks I was feeling more than uncomfortable.  To add more stress to the situation, Cory and I are it here.  None of our extended family lives anywhere even kind of close to where we are.  My mom had flown out to be with us for 2 weeks, and baby girl wasn’t even close to making an appearance.

March 27th I had another checkup.  I decided I wanted to go ahead with a C-section, I healed great from my previous one, sister wasn't even kind of wanting to leave my belly, and I desperately wanted the help from my mom.  My doctor and the hospital were able to get me in that day at lunch if I wanted; I was more than game because I was so darn uncomfortable!  I was ready, my bags were packed, I had a “big brother kit” ready, my house had been deep cleaned, and I had made 12 freezer meals…GAME.ON!  I flew home to grab our bags, Cory went to work to tie things up and just as we were leaving for the hospital my doctor called to let me know I would need to go into hospital first thing the next morning because of new scheduling issues.  After getting off the phone with my doctor I was crushed.  I was so excited to meet my baby girl that day, not the next morning!  I had already called our family to let them know our fun news.  I had tried to picture her little face and that Hayden would be a brother by dinner time.  But all of it would have to wait until the next morning.  Now…to a normal, not super hormonal, and exhausted pregnant woman this would be no big deal.  One more day would not be the end of the world.  I on the other hand lost it.  I bawled, hysterically for entirely too long and then needed ice cream from Sonic.  Super embarrassing to think about now and looking back I am grateful I was able to have one more day with my family of 3.  Cory and I had a fun low key day together and just enjoyed the day with Hayden.  I could barely sleep that night.  I would be a mother of 2 in a few hours.  

March 28th: Driving to the hospital felt ridiculously long and super short at the same time.  Cory was beyond excited and thrilled both of our kids would be born on the 28th (Hayden's bday is Dec 28th).  I was way more nervous than I thought I would be.  I had a C-section before, but it was all such a blur I barely remember everything that happened.  This time around I was watching all the nurses get me ready, and hooked up to antibiotics.  I walked myself into the freezing cold surgical room and was more than alert for the spinal block (which was not all that bad).  I could hear my heart racing on the heart monitor as nurses and my anesthesiologist (bless him) tried to help me relax.  Finally Cory came in and then my doctor.  The sheet went up and it was baby time.

The nurses and doctors were amazing, telling me how great I look (apparently I have a lovely uterus?), and guessing the size of my baby.  Guesses like "7 almost 8 lbs," or "higher 8 lb baby but not more."  Then I heard the sweetest little cry and started to tear up.  That was my baby!  “She has so much dark hair!”  My baby has hair?  Hayden was super blonde and barely had a little fuzz for hair.  “She is nice and big mama!  She is so beautiful!” And she was.  Overwhelming feelings of love for her took over and I got more teary.  Cory left to go be with our new baby girl, “she is 9 lbs 8 oz!  21 3/4 inches!”  I had to ask again, “did they say 9lbs 8 oz?!”  Yup…she had more than enjoyed her time in my belly, no wonder I was so uncomfortable.  My doctor said she would have been more than fine to live in there another 4 weeks and had no intention of leaving.  It was a good decision to have a C-section; I never would have been able to get her out on my own.

I text my mom later that day and said “I have never felt so happy.”  I was overwhelmed with love for this new little person in our family.  I was overwhelmed with pride and joy to watch Hayden meet his sister for the first time.  I was overwhelmed to see Cory with our daughter.  It was a great, great day.

Halli Hamilton
9 lbs 8oz
21 3/4 inches 

Halli (pronounced “Hal-E,” like Halle Berry) had reflux pretty bad  as a newborn.  Poor girl would cry and scream because she was in so much pain.  That first week home was so hard.  Once we got her some meds for the reflux she got more manageable.  She was also a tiny bit jaundice.  She is significantly darker than the rest of us.  She must have snuck in some genes from my McBride side.  My dad and brother are both really tan with dark hair.  With her dark hair, skin and huge blue eyes she is such a pretty baby.  She LOVES to eat, so I feel like I am nursing all day long.  Adjusting to more than one kiddo was also way harder than I thought.  Hayden was such an easy going baby.  He still is really easy going.  Halli on the other hand has opinions on everything.  No pacifiers what so ever(I tried every kind under the sun for weeks), hates bottles, hates to be swaddled, hates being held certain ways.  And she is not afraid to let you know.  Girl is sassy!!  But dang it she is so stinking cute.  Her little feisty personality is exhausting but hilarious.  Also I could tell I’m older because healing from my C-section was been a little rougher this time around.  Not awful, I still healed really well.  But I am not 22 anymore, hahaha.
(she had sooo much hair! It was so surprising because Hayd had only a sweet blonde fuzz. : )  Now that hair has pretty much all fallen out. Hopefully it grows back soon!)

I am still so overwhelmed with love for my little family.  There is truly nothing more special than bringing a little baby straight from heaven into your home.  I feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to be a mom.  I am so grateful that we are all healthy and that we get to figure out how to be a family of 4 together.  We are slowly finding our new normal and getting to know this sweet, gorgeous little girl.  I am one blessed mama.

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